It’s all about you, you, you and self esteem. Why should it not be all about you? Because we are scared to do that aren’t we. If you are anything like I used to be, the thought of saying it’s all about me gave me a sick feeling in my stomach! How could I even think of being selfish enough to think about me?! And the times that I did had my guilt – o – meter go off the scale! Jesus, it was exhausting being me. Feeling shit if I was nice and feeling shit if I was bad, could not win either way.
All this because I had the self-esteem of a gnat basically. In fact, it probably had more and I could not be horrible to a gnat either! And why did I have this level of self-esteem…………..because I listened to the damn cretin in my head called the script!
So here are my 5 top tips to boost your self-esteem this month (or any month tbh!)
Stop – stop for just a few seconds when you can hear what your voice is saying to you. If you can hear it talking rubbish to you and you are believing it. Stop what you are doing and be quiet. The minute you stop and notice the voice, you stop becoming the voice and you realise you are a separate thing.
Breathe – yes breathe, I know we all breathe all the time, but I want you to breathe out first, right into the pit of your stomach. Till your stomach expands as much as you can, then gently let it go. By doing this you are engaging your parasympathetic nervous system which starts to slow everything down.
Notice – now you have stopped for a few seconds and taken a mother of a breathe out and in. Notice what your head is saying, what things is it saying to you. Is it all rainbows and unicorns? Or is it all shite and disaster? Hazarding a guess here, it is the latter.
Choose – now you have done all of the 3 previous steps, think to yourself, would I choose to say that to myself? Would I choose to think to myself in that way? Would I choose to say those things to someone I loved or cared about? Chances are you are going to “NO” to those questions………………….so that begs the question……..”Why am I saying those things to myself?” The answer is you are not, the script is! We just believe the script and us are the same thing when we are not.
Find a phrase – find a phrase that works for you, it can be a profanity (my fav option), it can be “That’s okay”, “Welcome, thank you for stopping by” anything that works for you. But find something that acknowledges what you are feeling. Then speak to that feeling, emotion, chatter in your head, for example, it could be: “Hello anxiety thank you for stopping by, it is ok that you are here.” Or “Hello feeling guilty about eating chocolate, I acknowledge that you are here, but now you can jog on (not the words I would use 😊)
It is the acknowledgement of the voice/feeling/emotion in you and takes away the power from it. It gives you that separation that you need to make a choice to stay in it or walk away. In turn, this gives you back your control and your power. Self-esteem is based on us believing that we are in control of ourselves. Self-esteem is based on us believing we are worth being noticed and being part of life. And once we notice the voice/emotion/feeling and we know that we can choose a different one our self-esteem rockets.
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