Loving yourself before you love others………………………….

Loving yourself before you love others might sound like a selfish act to many people. That is not the way it is done. You should always put others before yourself, that is the kind and proper thing to do. Loving yourself makes you sound cocky and full of yourself doesn’t it? People who say Yes I love myself are often considered “up themselves”, over confident and some are (or are they?). But those statements are all instigated by the negative voice in our heads. It comes from the conditioning we receive as children and forms part of our script. And as parents it becomes a natural thing or if you care for other relatives. Or if it is your job, it becomes the norm to put others first.

The thing is with this kind of thinking it often leads us to feel exhausted, and for some to the point of it leading to ill health. We know we are both guilty of it and Lynne to the point it put her hospital for a week last year.

Loving yourself involves learning that you are able to put your health and well being first. Loving yourself involves learning that word “no”. You, loving yourself involves learning that it is not a selfish act or person that does either of them. How can you look after others if you have nothing else to give them. You need to top up your tank regularly, which means taking time out for yourself. No-one can run on empty, we all know we cannot do that with a car, so why would we think we could do it with ourselves. However, you choose to do that, there is no right or wrong as long as you do it. You will be able to cope so much better with everyone else if you ensure you take time out regularly.

If at any point you don’t do it or that negative voice says you don’t have the time (which is the usual excuse) remember that it is not you who is choosing to say those things. The real you would choose to take that time and not feel guilty. Because there is nothing to feel guilty about is there? It is only the script that would tell you differently. And remember you, the real you and the script are two different things.

Watch out though, the script is a sneaky little beggar and it will be nice to you also. If you have decided that a walk in the fresh air is part of your self care package, it might tell you that you do not need to go today. “Oh you have worked hard today, don’t bother with your walk, you will feel so tired afterwards”. Bang, 10mins later after you have listened it is berating you for not going. So, every time the script says do not go, tell it where to go and get those walking shoes on.

Love yourself enough to allow this time for yourself, you deserve it so much. The only thing or person that will tell you that you do not deserve it is the script. And remember if an actual person vocalises that too, then it is their script and not the real them. The real us for everyone would choose to make sure that everyone looked after themselves and loved themselves for who they are.

We are all amazing human beings, who can love themselves without the fear of being judged or admonished for saying so or believing so.

So go love yourselves fabulous superheroes because we love you loads.


Lynne and Tracey


Watch this video of an instagram live we did the other week. If nothing else it will give you a giggle.