There cannot be a shadow without light. Think about that, we think of a shadow as dark and devoid of light. But it would not exist if the light was not shining in the first place. We only have a shadow when we are walking if the sun is shining.
So even though shadows seem quite scary, we have all heard of the saying, “she was scared of her own shadow!” They are the places where our deepest, darkest secrets are held. It holds the bits of ourselves that we would rather not look at. And let’s be brutally honest, we all have things about ourselves we would rather not admit.
I know from a personal perspective I never wanted to admit that I had a part of me that I didn’t like. The part of me in my shadow that would get angry at my children. I had unkind thoughts of people who had really piddled me off! But I stuffed them back down as far as I could in the hope they would go away. Then the good old negative voice would batter me with a preverbal stick to add to the lack of self-worth party.
Our shadow exists because we have bits of our personalities that we do not want to admit. Bits of us we are really uncomfortable with even seeing exist. We try and pretend that there are really not there. And if you think you are completely open and do not have a shadow then I challenge you.
Are there things that really annoy you in other people? Things that really piss you off and it gets you damn right angry. Well guess what, that thing that annoys you, is often in you. It sits in your shadow, and you can’t see it! I know you don’t want to hear that, and I can imagine now, you are saying “Lynne you are talking out your arse!!”
Trust me, it is not something I wanted to hear either. It came as a bit of a smack around the chops I can tell you. However, when I actually took the time to work through what was sitting there. I could see it as clear as day. Sitting there staring me right in the face, I do that. Agggghhhhhhh.
Working through your shadow takes work and courage. It takes you being really honest with yourself, which I know can be really hard. It is not something we want to face. But to get the voices and personalities to shut up, we ought to work on the bits we don’t want to see. If we expose the shadow then the voices have nothing to batter us with. We know our deepest darkest bits and facing them head on means there is nothing to drag up and make us feel guilty or shameful about.
It is the guilt and shame of things sitting in our shadow that keeps us in the same space. Those feelings keep us feeling the same about ourselves. We have to learn to accept ourselves warts and all. There is no-one on this earth that does not have something about themselves they do not like or want to hide. I had the pleasure of seeing the Dalai Lama and even he admitted he often thought about bacon sandwiches! But he told us about it, he didn’t feel guilty about it, he said it as it was, and we all laughed. No bacon sandwiches sitting in the shadow.
To truly be free of our thoughts, talk to your shadow, be honest even if it hurts. Believe me it is worth it.
Lots of love
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